So woke up Monday Morning to the sound of a Bin Laden-free world.
And over the last several years
yours truly here has all but insisted that Bin Laden was dead, buried under the rubble of some collapsed cave somewhere.
But apparently not. Apparently after years of tracking Osama down by courier, The Team That Cannot Be Mentioned slipped in, took him out, and then took him OUT... to sea, where they disposed of him in a place that will be very difficult to gather 'round and build a shrine.
Of course, in this day and age of conspiracy theories, it did occurr to me that that story line would be a perfect cover for a faked assasination, and I got to thinking.... like an Escher drawing, where I suddenly saw the whole thing inside-out....
Now let me make it clear that I'm buying the story, as real conspiracies
tend to get ratted out, and the bigger, the more quickly. But before I went to bed last night, this wild conspiracy theory popped into my head.
Suppose ... suppose Bin Laden had been dead for years. And suppose Obama was sinking in the polls. And suppose he knew Osama had been dead for years, but nobody could prove it. And he wanted to improve his image. So what if he wanted to "catch" Bin Laden and give himself a bump in the polls? But there was this "birther" conspiracy out there to which this would only add more fuel.
Suppose Oprah had a friend named Donald Trump, a man widely liked for his TV "reality" show. Suppose they had him hint at running for president, and start pushing the birther issue, so that the birthers would rally behind him, and Obama -- after years of refusing to release that "long form" and apparently spending a substantial amount to keep it from seeing the light of day ... would give in to the "pressure" from this "right-wing nut-job", look like the victim, and produce the birth certificate (
or a facimile of it). This once and for all marginalizes the birthers to the absolute fringe, and they lose any sympathy anyone in the "middle" had for them. Anyone who still holds to that crazy conspiracy is officially a nut-job now.
And to hold to any further conspiracy theory would bring down mounds of derision and dismissal.
Then we stage a raid by a
team that "doesn't exist" where they "kill" Osama, and whisk his body off to an air-craft carrier to be dumped into the ocean for very good reasons (and reasons I agree with, for the record) ... and there's no trace of the man who was killed and nobody who was "there" that you could even ask about it, because they don't exist.
Now Obama's the guy who "got Bin Laden", his poll numbers go up, and he has a "tough guy" notch in his belt from which to help campaign.
Or, suppose it really WAS Bin Laden (which I do believe, and this is actually more plausible) ... and that we figured out this was his compound last August and a couple of months ago our intelligence agencies said we have the intel now to pinpoint his location and take him out at any time .... but that the plan was do NOT take him alive and do NOT let his body be buiried in a place around which his supporters can rally.
But there's a problem. It'll look, pardon the pun, "fishy". And we've already got 38% of the population who either are themselves or don't completly reject "birtherism".... and this would only add to suspicion. So staffers say "Mr. President, we really need to lay this birther thing to rest." But after years of refusing to release that "long form" and apparently spending a substantial amount to keep it from seeing the light of day ... it would look a little strange for the president to just suddenly release it without a reason.
So Oprah's buddy Donald is recruited to "start" a presidential campaign (which would surprise nobody, since he's made noises about it before) and as a part of his campaign, he would "pressure" Obama (bad cop) to release the birth certificate. Obama would resist, then finally give in -- him looking like the victim, Trump eventually fading into the background, and the birthers completely marginalized and untouchable.
Which would set the stage for the raid. And in this version of the story it's an actual real raid against the real, living Bin Laden which could now be carried out in the manner desired and in such a political climate that the number of people who would publicly question the veracity of the story would be minimized. Which would be good all around for national and world security.
Either one would make a fun movie plot, eh?
In the end, the conspiracy theorist is right that there was covertness, but that it was carried out for the right reasons. Which would blast a hole in the lefty worldview that all covertness is wrong.